Day 1 of my summer journal series.
Happy summer! It’s been a while hasn’t it? During my long but predictable absence from the blog, I’ve managed to finish off my junior year of college – with mostly A’s, two semesters at a really cool workplace, and a rabbit named Poptart that I adopted as a result of seemingly endless stress-fueled weeks during finals month (not the most optimal reason for bringing a pet into my life, but he’s truly found a place in my heart and home).
Could’ve been a lot worse, but I was also feeling extremely uncertain about the future and that terrified me, especially because the last year of my formal education is quickly approaching. What worried me the most was that I hadn’t yet secured an internship for the summer. I severely procrastinated the application process and the ones I did apply to returned my heart-felt cover letters with radio silence. As a rising senior, this quickly sent me into anxiety overdrive. I began to question my self worth and hirability, comparing myself with many of my peers who seemed to be doing super well in life and in their fledging careers.
Since I took my last exam, things have taken a turn for the better. I realized that some things are simply not meant to be. Without an internship taking up all my hours, the next couple of months will be the perfect time for doing the things that I wasn’t able to do during the school year. It’s honestly a pretty liberating feeling. Even in the past 30 days I’ve already felt so much happier and more fulfilled than I did in the entire spring semester. I’ve taken strolls to the farmer’s market every weekend, made new friends, gotten a job at Free People, started painting again, gone to my first baseball game in DC, taken nightly walks to the Lincoln Memorial with Chris and even uploaded my first YouTube video. The list of things I want to do definitely don’t there.